Maintaining Relationships After Someone Has Died
Author: reachout.com.au
Topic: Loss and Grief
After someone dies it can be hard for everyone to adjust. Family members may argue with each other more often. Sometimes being with your family can be uncomfortable but it can also be a space where you can grieve together.
If possible, try to be understanding of your family's reactions. Doing things together like have dinner, going to the footy or hanging out talking about some of the things you are feeling may help you to better understand each other.
Don't be afraid to talk about the person who has died. You may not want to mention them for fear of upsetting others.
However, don't forget, they are already upset even though they may not be showing it at the time. The silence created by not talking about the dead person may make the family feel that person was not significant, that their life had no meaning or even that they did not exist at all.
Dealing with friends and relatives
Friends and relatives may have deep feelings of grief as well. Like you, they may also want a tangible reminder of their friend. Try and be sensitive to their requests.
Including them in your grieving may help you get through your own tough times. They may also be a great source of support and be good people to talk to about some of the major decisions you need to make.
Coping with other people's reactions
Chances are your friends will not know what to do or say. This may be difficult for both of you. It may help to let them know how you are feeling and that it may take time for you to get back into your normal routine. If there are things that they could do to help you out, it may be a good idea to let them know.
People may ask you a whole lot of questions that you are not wanting or ready to answer. It is OK, to say that you are not ready to talk and you will let them know when you are ready.
Acknowledgements
Some of the information is adapted from the book "After Suicide, Help For The Bereaved" by Sheila Clark. Published in 1995 by Hill of Content Publishing Company Pty Ltd, Melbourne 3000.
