Katie's Story
One of the hardest things about sharing personal experiences is getting it from your memory to paper. Then the thoughts kick in. Should I be doing this, if I do, how much should I say, and then what have I got to gain by writing this. Then it hit me. There are many people out there who have had similar experiences to me. By reading how I coped and managed to get where I am, is an inspiration to others. I know if I knew that there were others out in the world, who have gone through something I have been through, things, would have been a lot easier to understand, that I would get through them.
At the tender age of 21, I have been through many things. I have lost my mother, who passed away a week before my 15th birthday. To make matters worse I lost everything associated with my mother in a house fire six months later.
Many people have told me that losing my mother is hard for anyone to handle, and sure that's true. But I had three younger siblings to look after. So I had no time to think about how hard things were!
My father was hopeless and very lazy. He didn't know one end of a broom from the other, let alone where anything in the house was, so here I was, 15 years of age, going to school, practically taking care of three younger siblings and doing all the household duties. Many times I struggled. But the help from my younger siblings and staying positive, I kept going. Things were tough, but the belief that things will one day get better kept me going. An outlet at school helped too. Talking to close friends helped. But it wasn't enough. I know that now, but I wish I knew it sooner.
In year 12, two years later, I finally cracked under the pressure. I had had enough. I finally realized that, I was too young to take all this on board. After all I just turned 17 years old, and my final year 12 exams were approaching fast. I just knew that I wouldn't be able to cope. So for the first time in my life I sought help. I know now that that was the best thing I could have ever done.
Hidden beneath all these years of looking after others, I was hiding, a very powerful secret. Ever since I can remember I had been sexually abused by my father. When my mother had gone, things got worse, and hence made living, even surviving day to day extremely difficult. And as I said before, that day I made a phone call, changed my life.
At first things were harder. I had no parent around to help guide me in time of need, and only one relative that would come to our need of crisis. He took my siblings and me in, and I finished year 12 and battled away about my disclosure. Also at first I wasn't really believed by those around me. So my support network was almost zero. After a few weeks of struggling I realized I needed to change this.
I sought help. I talked to my school psychologist and got advice from where ever I could get it from. I also received some counseling in order to help me cope.
Four years on, here I am. I have completed year 12 twice, am engaged, studying for my university degree, and have made a huge network of support for myself. With out this support, I am not sure where I would be right now. Making the first step to ask for help, was the best choice I have ever made. I recommend it to everyone. It doesn't matter when it happens, there's never ever a right time or a bad time, sometimes you just have to do it, and you know when you will need to. Don't leave it too late. Sometimes it can be to late, and you can or will lose control.
